Quotes of the disillusioned husbands

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
- David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.
- Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get
a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
- Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What
does a woman want?
- Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
- Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to
a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music
and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
- Henry Youngman

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic
banking. It's called marriage."
- James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the
second one didn't." - Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong,admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once...
- Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
- Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
- Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
- Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky,
mine's still alive."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."
Anonymous

Secret of Married life:

Once X asked Y, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"

Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

X asked, "Can you explain?"

Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

Still not convinced,
X asked Y "Give me some examples"

Y said," Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"

X asked, "Then what is your role?"

Y said, "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire etc etc. Do you know one thing, my wife NEVER objects to any of these".